VICHEKESHO VILIVYOTUFIKIA WIKI HII


😏😏😏😏😏  *YAAN WADADA WA SIKU HIZI BHANA, UNAKUTA YUKO BAFUNI ANAOGA HALAFU NYWELE KAZIACHA CHUMBANI..*. 😂😂😂😂😂
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 *mzee kanitumia sms "njoo upike ugali mboga tayari" kwa haraka haraka zangu nikajibu OWA badala ya POA*
 *saiz nipo nyumbani hapo naona mabegi yangu ya nguo yote yapo nje itakuwa mzee anafanya usafi ndani...*
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 *_BANK bhana wapuuzi kweli sie tunaweka mamilion yetu tunawaamini ... lakini wao pen ya sh.100 wanaifunga kamba inamaana hawatuamini😁😁😀😊😆😆😜_*
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 *Maisha Bhana!! Yani We Ukivuta Subira Kuna Mwingine Anavuta Bangi*
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 I started fearing smoking weed,when I saw my neighbour's son dancing to the sound of my generator. ..When I switched it off he asked me who sang that song ? Because I was afraid he would beat me , I answered " Yamaha featuring Petrol" 😂😜😜
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 MKE;(kachukua simu akaanza kuongea kwa hasira),mume wangu uko wapi mpaka mida hii saa 4 za usiku?
MUME;Mke wangu unalikumbuka lile duka la urembo ambalo tuliukuta ule mkufu wa dhahabu ambao ulisema unaupenda sana halafu nikakwambia sina hela ila nikasema ipo siku nikipata hela nitakununulia?
MKE;Yes,yes napakumbuka dear,enhee niambie mume wangu!
MUME;Okay sasa kwa nyuma yake kuna bar,nipo nakunywa hapa!
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 LEA na RAHELI waliolewa na house boy(YAKOBO.) wa baba yao mzee LABANI
SIPORA aliolewa na mchunga kondoo(MUSA,) wa baba yake mzee YETHRO
sasa nyinyi wadada hizo nyumba na magari na kazi nzuri mnazotaka wakaka wawe nazo mmezitoa kwenye biblia ipi,,
EMBU MUWE MNASOMA NA AGANO LA KALE JAMANI..,,,,
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 CHIZI ALIOZWA MKE...HARUSI YA KUFANA MASHAALLAH...SHAMRASHAMRA KAMA KAWAIDA NDUGU JAMAA NA MARAFIKI......HARUSI IKAISHA WATU  WAKAENDA MAKWAO....CHIZI AKAINGIA CHUMBANI MWAKE AKAKUTA BI HARUSI KAKAA KITANDANI....!!!AKASEMA KWA HAMAKI....NILIJUA TU...  HII SHAMRA SHAMRA ILIKUWA KUBWA SANA LAZIMA PATASAHAULIWA MTU HAPA.........
😂😂😂  🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃
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 *Jana baada ya kukosa usingizi nikakumbuka maneno ya wahenga alalae usimuamshe ukimuamsha utalala wewe, nikaenda zangu kwenye kambi ya jeshi nikakuta wanajeshi wawili wamelala nikawamwagia maji ,,sasa ivi niko zangu muhimbili nimelala sina tatizo na mtu...* 😆😆
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 Ushawahi kwenda kwny duka la Muhindi ukakuta yuko na kile kidot cha red 🔴 usoni kwny komwe, basi Mkiongea unaona kama anakurecord..??!
😂😂😂😂😂😂
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 A pregnant woman was delivering but the baby finds it difficult to come out, but the nurses as usual yelled *PUSH…!PUSH!!…. But there was no sign of the baby coming forth. After 10 mins later, the baby's head came out and asked the nurses.
*Baby*: Is this Kenya?
*Nurse*: Yes
*Baby*: Who is the president?
*Nurse*: Uhuru Kenyatta.
*Baby*: What is the rate of the Kenya Shilling to the dorlla$?
*Nurse*: $1=Ksh.105.00
*Baby*: What is a gallon of petro?
*Nurse*: About ksh. 96.00
*Baby*: What about a 2kg packet of Maize Flour?
*Nurse*: About Ksh. 180.00
*Baby*: And you want me to come out?
*Nurse*: Yes.
*Baby*: You must be joking. I will come back after August 2017.
😂😂😂😂🙆🏻‍♂
.Cc: prince
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 COMEDY:
*Usifikiri Watu wote ni Wajinga Hawaelewi Mafumbo.*

Jamaa na Mke wake walikuwa bado Wamelala Asubuhi.

 Ghafla Mtu akapiga Hodi kwenye mlango.

 Mke akaenda kufungua mlango.

 Bahati mbaya kumbe ni mpango Wake wa Kando.

*MKE:* Unataka nini we Mpumbavu?

*MUME:* Nani huyo una Mtukana?

*MKE:*Kuna Mtu hapa
Anakichwa kama Nenda urudi Baadae.

*Mpango wa kando:* Nawewe Pua kama... Poa.

*MKE:* Miguu kama Masaa
Mawili hivi.

*Mpango wa kando:* Masikio kama Sitachelewa.

*MKE:* Ondoka hapa mjinga wewe! Akafunga Mlango.

*MUME:* Mwambie ana Magoti kama Sitoki leo.
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
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 *Nimemtembelea rafiki yangu nyumbani kwake mida ya saa saba hivi na tayari alikuwa karibu kusonga ugali.*
*Nikamtuma nje, wakati anatoka nje, nikaongeza maji kwenye sufuria kumbe sikujua alipima maji kulingana na unga uliobaki. Sasa hivi tunakunywa uji* *hatuongeleshani*.

😂😂😂😂😂😂
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 *Niko Maeneo ya Area C kuna Dada kaangusha kipochi nikamwambia excuse me madam, kabla hajajua nataka kumwambia nini akasema samahan wewe kaka Nina boyfriend*
*sasa hivi Niko bar nakunywa bia na kula nyama*
😂😂😂😂😂😂
*Sipendagi maringo Mimi*
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 *Jamani nina kaswali kananitatiza*
_Hivi ukipanda juu ya mti na daftari halafu ukalifunua na kusoma, ukishuka ndio utakuwa umepata *Elimu* ya juu??_

🤷🏻‍♂🤷🏻‍♂🤷🏻‍♂🤷🏻‍♂🤷🏻‍♂🤷🏻‍♂
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